Just That 1 Thing.

You asked me to eat a lot and don't worry about getting fat. You asked me not to forget you. You asked me not to cry because I don't look pretty when I cry. You asked me to smile everyday, even if anything happen, just smile. You asked me to have fun whenever I go out with my friends. You asked me whether I'm okay, have I had my meal, where I will go, whom am I with and what am I doing. You asked me to find another Shrek just because you're sick. You asked me to take care of myself as if that is your last word for me. You asked me to sing a song. You asked me not to ever wait for you. You asked me to make 1001 pinky promises with you. You asked me things that you already know.

Can I ask you for only 1 thing?
Please stay, Sayang.

He Said

Girl can I tell you a terrible thing?It seems that I'm sick and I've only got weeks.Please don't be sad now, I really believe.You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

I would rather ...

say nothing at all than babbling about pointless crap.
be single than be cheated in a relationshit.
try now than regret it later.
have 10 friends than have thousands of fake shitty ones.
spend time for myself than for someone else.
say no than yes.
wear pretty clothes with no brands than ugly clothes with brands.
waste my money on food than things.
go to tuition class than to school.
communicate with human, face to face than behind these technologies.
walk alone than walk in a group.
dancing than singing in public.
agree to disagree than argue about it.
keep it to myself than let it all out.

how about you? what would you rather do?

Goodbye, love.

I listen to the song, that you wrote for me.
I look at your photos, that you gave me.
I remember every of advice, that you said to me.
You said you love me but you didn't act like you are.

You taught me how to overcome my insecurities.

You taught me not to waste my tears for some shit.

You've changed me to someone better,

I'd thank you  for that.

You make me miss you so bad.
Waiting for my phone to blow up with your ringtone.
High expectations on something that you would do.
Hoping for you to come back.

Once I want to move on, you will come out of the blue.
Once I decided to wait, you just never show up.
And I have waited for you way far too long.
I'm just too hopeless to hope.

I'm done waiting for you.
I won't hope for something that will never happen.
I don't want to waste my time and my money on you.
And I don't want to play with your shitty games anymore.

It was my fault to put my trusts on you and to think that you're different.

I have deleted your phone number, songs and photos.
But somehow I know you will be the guy that I will never ever, forget.
I just want to wish for your happiness and success.

Goodbye.

Ho Ho Ho Holidays ~

I really do think June will start perfectly fine and I really do know that it won't end well. Yes, semester break is here! Alhamdulillah ~

So things that I wanna do during my 2 weeks of holidays ;

• meet my long time no see girlfriends! ❤
• have fun with the three boys! :D
• save money for Alesana's concert!
• spend my time in the jungle, I miss green!
• do nothin' for a day but my regular routine!
• awake for the whole day!
• sleep 'til noon! (or maybe before Zohor ends)
• get rid of this BIG tummy!
• do my homework that I haven't start since January!
• figure out what else I wanna do!

I know it's only for 14 days and I don't really go to school much often but who cares? It's still a fucking holiday to me. 

Happy Mother's Day!

Dear Mama,

       Without you ;

I won't be able to see the world, 

I won't be pretty like you, 

I don't know who I can count on, 

I won't have an awesome Ma like you, 

I wouldn't know what true love is and ..

IT'S YOU! :) 

from your prettiest, fattest, laziest, 

spoiled and most annoying 

daughter.

AI  ♥ YU

Mummy, I'm a bitchy daughter. I apologize for that.

That's what I wrote on my Mother's Day card, except for the last part. I know it's pretty cliche but I can't write any censored word to express my feelings like I used to (if you know what I mean), it's quite inappropriate, obviously ~

I wanted to write something else but I know it would sound sad and everything, believe me. I won't ask more from her, she had suffers for 25 years and .. OKAY SKIP THAT PART. I don't want to ruin her happy day with all of this emotions. She doesn't deserve anymore, sadness, in her life. So tyeahh.

p/s : To all Mak Ayam, Motherfucker, Mother Theresa, Mother of Nature and especially my beloved Ma whom is more gorgeous and more awesome than your mom, I know, sad but true. Well Happy Mother's Day! 

And yes, my family don't have any fixed nickname for ourselves because we're cool that way, ay? Okay. Chow.

Emo Shit.

Their words never make me feel any better,
Sometimes, some people, just have to shut up,
I don't need to hear somethin' that I already know,
They think they get me, but none of 'em really do.

I didn't even ask for your fuckin' opinion anyway,

They don't know me well enough just to say, anythin',

People come and go, everythin' come and go, 

The difference between each one of you is, how long will you stay.

Nothing last forever, same goes to love,
I don't believe in happy endings and people,
Goodbye is all I ever know,
Don't try to change me, I won't change for anyone.

I know myself better so, tyeahh.

Ha-Ha

It's funny when most everyone I knew wanted me to put a smile on my face.
It's funny when I think I have no one in my life and I'm all alone.
It's funny when people think I'm rich and wealthy.
It's funny when they can't see what I see.
It's funny when Mama think I have so many boyfriends.
It's funny when I'm so excited for tuition more than my school.
It's funny when you'd like to lick back what you just spit, if you know what I mean.
It's funny when strangers would think I'm one of the arrogant bitches.
It's funny when I eat a lot but I'm not getting that fat.
It's funny when my ex (s) just being wayyyy fucking pa-the-tic.

It's funny when people I know like to give me compliments.
It's funny when a guy asked me to tell him about myself.
It's funny when money and fame is just everything for everyone
It's funny when a bunch of people act like they are so cool.
It's funny when some of them expect me to trust em'.
It's funny when most of the guys I knew wanted to hear me sing.
It's funny when people think cursing is bad $%&#)$*#%*(~#% !
It's funny when I can get high just by drinking a tin of .. Coke.
It's funny when I think I'm adopted.
It's funny when they keep giving away their love away.

But the most funny part of all, is, none of em' were even funny.
Yes bitch and gays, I have just wasted your time.

Feel.

I feel like I need to go out. For movies or concerts. With the love ones. Do anything. Just to laugh out loud and have some fun. I feel like I need to be friendly and communicate more. With people or anyone, just anyone. I feel like I need to get over this fucking low - self esteem. Be more confident and smile more often. And just be happy. I feel like I need to put this stupid damn fucking heart broken feelings aside. Move on and forget everything. Just everything. Focus more on my studies and my future. I feel like I need a new start, new life, new style. And most of all, a new haircut.

I'm getting bored with this shit. And I feel like I need to stop blogging. Stop expressing these feelings. Stop writing about things. I guess ...

I don't mind it, I still don't mind at all.